hey GOD

hey GOD.

i heard this song and I thought of you. 

its amazing how you speak right through my heart
without saying a word you can light up the dark
try as i may i can never explain
what i hear when you dont say a thing.

the smile in your face let's me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes that saying that you'll never leave me
and the touch of your hand, says you'll catch me whenever i fall
you say it best, when you say nothing at all. :)

all day long i can hear people talking out loud
but when you hold me near
you drown out the crowd
try as they may they can never define
what has been said between your heart and mine



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diba GOD. you are the sweetest. alam ko namang mahal mo ako eh. :)
sometimes I wonder how I survive being alone for years when all my life i never wanted to be alone. i always wanted to have someone who would hold my hand and who would hug me but then parang since I have known you better (nung naging Christian ako) parang natali ako sa pagiging single. 

not that im blaming you ha. pero diba GOD. aminin na natin, boys do come and go. may magpaparamdam tapos mawawala. may nandyan pero bigla kong iiwasan for some weird reason. may gusto akong balikan pero huli na ang lahat at may gustong bumalik pero sablay na. may mahal ako pero may mahal na iba. at palagay ko may nagmamahal sakin, yun nga lang alam nyang may mahal na akong iba... at na Christian ako at sya hindi. 

GOD. love was never out of my mind. i know you created us, humans out of love kaya ganun pero diba. parang minsan, naooverwhelm kami sa idea ng love that we forget its tangible effects. 

i remembered when i was still in a relationship, parang there was a time na gusto ko na maging free, nasasakal ako, napapagod, nafufrustrate, ayaw ko na. so i was given that freedom. eto ako single. hahaha.. 

ngayon namang single ako, i miss the feeling of taking care of someone and being taken care of exclusively. diba. sweet ako whatever pero hindi parin exclusive. iba parin kapag meron kang someone special at mutual ang feeling. haha.

pero GOD. i realized i should never question your timing. baka nga naman bigla mong ibigay eh di ko naman kayanin mga demands nya at hindi nya rin kayanin mga demands ko. sayang lang. sayang lang kami. tama ka. ayoko na ng isang daang frogs na ikikiss para lang magkaprince charming. hintayin ko na lang sya dumating. :)

at isa pa. Lord. tanda mo pa ba yung pinagpepray ko dati?... GOD. surrender na ako. eto na ang ballpen, di ko na aagawin. ikaw na ang magsulat ng lovestory ko. nakakaloka. nauubusan ako ng ideas at nakakafrustrate dahil alam nating dalawa na hindi ko kayang idirect ang buhay nya. kaya ito. ikaw na Lord. 

haha. so ayun. ito na lahat ang nasa isip ko. glad its out.