falling in love and waiting

after some time alone i realize why i usually get frustrated and disappointed with love.

• i overanalyze things
• i expect too much
• fear of rejection 
• fear of being controlled
• fear of heartbreak

in short... masyado ata akong nagmamadali. 

falling in love is not a choice but staying in love is. there would come a time that the kilig factor will be gone, feelings will turn sour and bitterness will be there but that's also the time where we can ask ourselves if we really love this person.

if despite everything and we still think of that someone, if we still long to be with that someone, if we still miss spending time with that someone... well, we can say, we are choosing to stay in love with that person. He is a nice person and i don't want to assume anything out of it but i am grateful of the lessons i'm learning because he is in my life. 

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i am a control-freak and honestly, i do not want to be tied down to anything or anyone.. until i met this person whom i cannot control and who can make me smile even if i am with him despite my schedule. 

after meeting him i realized that i should not rush going into a relationship because there is a right time. i should enjoy the ride and learn from this phase. 

waiting is part of a phase if you are looking for a long term relationship. its teaching you to be patient, to be more understanding, to be committed, to be appreciative and less demanding. it teaches you to love.